The Right Partner Won’t Be Your Everything: Building Healthy Connections
Don’t Be Misled – The Right Partner Doesn’t Want to Be Your Everything
Let’s set a basic understanding right away: men and women aren’t all that different. So while I’m using “she” here, what I’m about to say could apply to anyone. Now, with that settled, let’s dive into it: there are two types of people you might find yourself dating, and you may be with the wrong type right now.
Before you start second-guessing everything, hear me out—it’s not necessarily your fault. Often, we end up in relationships with people who seem “perfect” on the surface. The chemistry is there, you share values, and you might even have that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling that everything is just right. But here’s the catch: sometimes, it’s too good to be true. If you’re getting that “fairytale romance” feeling, you might want to pause and ask yourself if she’s truly the right one.
The wrong person might seem like they complete your world, but what if they’re trying to be your world? It’s easy to be drawn in by someone who wants to become your everything. Maybe she needs constant reassurance, expects your undivided attention, or leans on you to handle her unresolved issues. When someone relies on you for their sense of self, it’s not just unhealthy; it can be stifling.
We’ve all heard the fantasy of two people “becoming one,” but honestly, it’s often more idealized than real. Real love isn’t about losing yourself in someone else or merging identities. If the person you’re with needs you to be her source of self-worth or looks to you to fix her problems, it’s a red flag. True connection isn’t built on someone else filling our inner voids or healing our past wounds.
It took me years (and a lot of introspection) to see the difference between genuine love and the need for someone to “complete” me. Not long ago, at a festival, I reflected on past relationships, including one that mirrored this “savior” dynamic. She was struggling to love herself, and I was struggling to “save” her, thinking that if I loved her enough, she’d finally see her own worth. The truth is, only she could find that within herself.
If you find yourself with someone who depends on you to feel okay, you might want to reconsider. It’s easy to want to help or support someone, but love isn’t about fixing others. In fact, real love means each person being whole and able to stand on their own. When we enter a relationship expecting it to heal us or fix our lives, we’re setting up for disappointment.
Look for the person who has done their own inner work, who knows their strengths and flaws and is open to love without needing it to fill an emotional void. The right partner won’t try to be your entire world; she’ll enrich the life you already love. She’ll call you out when needed and encourage you to be the best version of yourself—and expect the same from you.
In the end, if you’re dating the wrong person, it’s worth having the courage to walk away. Believe me, there’s someone out there who values themselves and values you, who doesn’t expect you to be their crutch. True love grows between two people who already stand strong and can appreciate each other without needing to “complete” one another.
Ready to explore deeper, more fulfilling connections? Share your thoughts in the comments below, or reach out to learn how The Sacred Kings can support you in building a strong foundation for love and self-awareness. Discover what it means to be in a relationship where both partners thrive individually and together.