Before Shiva J was doing men's work, he was teaching women and children how to protect themselves from dangerous men.
He spent years as a self-defense instructor — sitting across from women in those rooms, hearing what brought them there, watching the quiet sadness underneath their determination. He learned something irreplaceable in those spaces: the world is not the same for women. Not even close.
When #MeToo gained momentum, he wasn't surprised. What it gave him was a signal he couldn't ignore. Teaching women to defend themselves was necessary work — but it wasn't the same as helping men stop being dangerous. The more urgent work was with men. That's where he needed to go.
He didn't leave the fitness industry so much as he was pushed out of it — circumstances in his life made that choice for him. Rather than fight it, he dove deep into men's work, tantra, and sacred sexuality: the difficult, slow, often unglamorous work of helping men examine themselves honestly. Their patterns. Their shadows. The places where they cause harm without realizing it.
